top of page
  • Writer's pictureBecca Teers

How a Lack of Self-Love Can Affect your Life!

Updated: Jul 25, 2023

Unveiling the Symptoms of a Lack of Self-Love

In a world that often emphasizes external validation and comparison, it's easy to overlook the importance of self-love. Self-love is a profound concept that is about accepting, caring for, and appreciating yourself unconditionally. Unfortunately, many of us struggle with a lack of self-love, which can have significant repercussions on our overall well-being. In this blog, we'll explore the symptoms of a lack of self-love, shedding light on how it can manifest in our lives.

Some Ways a Lack of Self-Love Shows up in our Lives

Constant Self-Criticism

One of the primary symptoms of a lack of self-love is a relentless habit of self-criticism. People who struggle with self-love tend to be overly judgmental and hard on themselves. They have a tendency to focus on their flaws and shortcomings rather than acknowledging their strengths and accomplishments. This constant self-criticism can lead to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem and a feeling of never being or doing enough!

Seeking External Validation

When we lack self-love, we often seek external validation to feel worthy or validated. We may rely on the approval and opinions of others to feel good about ourselves. Whether it's constantly seeking reassurance, seeking validation through achievements or relationships, or relying on social media likes and comments for self-worth, the absence of self-love can cause us to depend on others for our sense of value.

Difficulty Setting Boundaries

A lack of self-love can manifest in difficulties setting and maintaining healthy boundaries. People who struggle with self-love often find it challenging to say "no" and prioritize their own needs. They might fear disappointing others or being seen as selfish. Consequently, they may take on excessive responsibilities or allow others to take advantage of them, leading to feelings of resentment and exhaustion.


Perfectionism is another symptom commonly associated with a lack of self-love. When we suffer with a lack of self-love we often set unattainable standards for ourselves and strive for perfection in every aspect of our lives. We may believe that our worth is dependent on outward achievements and success. This relentless pursuit of perfection can lead to chronic stress, anxiety, and self-doubt.

Neglecting Self-Care Leading to Burnout

A lack of self-love often results in neglecting self-care. We may prioritize the needs of others over our own, ignoring our physical, emotional, and mental well-being. We might struggle to prioritize activities that bring us joy and fulfilment. Neglecting self-care can lead to burnout, fatigue, and a general feeling of dissatisfaction with life.

Fear of Failure and Rejection

When we're lacking in self-love, we often have an intense fear of failure and rejection. We may avoid taking risks or pursuing our dreams due to a fear of not meeting our own or others' expectations. This fear can trap us in a cycle of stagnation, preventing personal growth and fulfilment.

Awareness is the first step to change!

Recognizing the symptoms of a lack of self-love is an important step toward cultivating a healthier relationship with yourself. If you resonate with any of these symptoms, it's crucial to remember that self-love is a journey, and it requires patience, compassion, and practice.

Seek support from loved ones, consider professional guidance, and try to include some daily or weekly self-care activities that promote self-acceptance and self-appreciation. I have also written blog on ways to love yourself more, have a read here!

P.S. Remember, you are deserving of love and kindness—starting with from yourself. If you need more help with this and would like some 'time-out' for yourself we are running our 3rd & 4th Self-Love Empowerment Women's Retreats in Kent in 2023 & 2024! Read more about these special retreats here.



bottom of page